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Too Big for the Playground, Too Small for the Big Leagues

by Isabel Pless

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1.
Clean my bathroom again Just to feel something other than The weight of being alone At the mirror I stand Pinch my waistline again Just to keep From checking my phone And the tears form a whirlpool In the center of my face I breathe in Then forget to breathe out And my lips form the shape Of all I want to say But can't force the words Out of my mouth Think of calling my friends They're so happy I can't stand that Their content sometimes burns me To my reflection I say "I think you're the one" I'm a diplomat in politics of lonely I am friends with the night Always up at weird times Pace my dark And cherry stained floor Stare out the window And stare down the sink Swear to God I can't think anymore It's a hurt I've never known before And the tears form a whirlpool In the center of my face I breathe in Then forget to breathe out And my lips form the shape Of all I want to say But can't force the words Out of my mouth Think of calling my friends They're so happy I can't stand that Their content sometimes burns me To my reflection I say "I think you're the one" I'm a diplomat in politics of lonely Feel like I am plateauing Don't know where I am going In life or in general I guess I am up then I'm down And when I look around At my wreckage Feel a tightness in my chest If success is subjective Then what's the objective Of a lonely life fully lived well? I wanna climb that hill And I will, I will Even if I have to do it By myself And the tears form a whirlpool In the center of my face I breathe in Then forget to breathe out And my lips form the shape Of all I want to say But can't force the words Out of my mouth Think of calling my friends They're so happy I can't stand that Their content sometimes burns me To my reflection I say "I think you're the one" I'm a diplomat in politics of lonely Ah I'm a diplomat in politics of lonely
2.
Love Blind 03:32
I still remember the outfit I had on for my first kiss And I still wear it as a joke Sometimes Where the punch line Is the way his mouth was on mine Real tongue-in-cheek is what it is Nineteen Now a beauty queen I didn't know what it would be like To have somebody Look me dead in the eyes And say, "I wish you were mine" Thought I'd be scared But all I knew Was that it didn't feel right Waited all this time Just to find What if I'm love blind? I stumble down Commonwealth On the phone with my best friend She says, "It's okay That he didn't fit you like a glove" And I didn't factor this Into my four year plan But now I'm thinking Maybe I should've Nineteen Now a beauty queen I didn't know what it would be like To have somebody Look me dead in the eyes And say, "I wish you were mine" Thought I'd be scared But all I knew Was that it didn't feel right Waited all this time Just to find What if I'm love blind? Coffee on my breath Nothing inside my chest His hand was on my hip A feeling of restlessness I look back with wiser eyes And try to see the brighter side of things Maybe one day I'll be smart enough To know what it all means Nineteen Now a beauty queen I didn't know what it would be like To have somebody Look me dead in the eyes And say, "I wish you were mine" Thought I'd be scared But all I knew Was that it didn't feel right Waited all this time Just to find What if I'm love blind? What if I'm love blind?
3.
Family Tree 03:36
Every woman in my family has Lost a child, lost a baby And every man: a brother, daughter, or a son I'm only twenty But I know the way The world can string you up Like a mobile Twisting, fading in the sun It's the things you don't discuss At your hushed Thanksgiving tables that Pull you close That make you fully one Every family has their secrets Has their heartache and their reasons For their silence So as not to come undone La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la And they hold close to their lies To their debts and their despise Scrawl their names over stolen lullabies Was it the drugs? Or the drink? Or the money you let sink Into the cards in the middle of the night? You crowd in one bedroom apartments Work three jobs You're just exhausted And you're still just Barely scraping by Sometimes you wonder if they're heartless Or just damaged past the point of Anything you could ever recognize La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la Every woman in my family Had to grow up much too quickly And every man has been Right there by her side Someone mentioned it over dinner And in their eyes you could see flicker The hurt of several lifetimes Every family has their secrets Has their heartache and their reasons Even when the silence eats them up Inside La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la
4.
Burn Out 03:13
Flashback to skipping my classes And pacing my floor I loved a blond boy in high school But not anymore Now I plan out my life With every guy in the grocery store Who looks my age Or looks my way And I smoke out the window When my parents are home Leave a light on at night If I'm sleeping alone And my mailbox is full But no one calls my phone Anyway I think I burned out a while ago Maybe I'll relight one day So I take shit from the people Who talk to me like I'm ten What if I write a good song Then never do it again Every time that I think I'll snap I just bend into place Will I ever break? I take back roads to work To avoid the left turns Leave my old friends on read When they say they're concerned Only listen to songs Where I know all the words By heart Think I burned out a while ago So where's my fresh start? Ah Ah And I zone out completely While watching TV Time slips through my hands Barely touches me I can't picture myself Past the age of thirty-three And I go through the motions And movements alone Leave a light on at night Just in case you come home Cleared my mailbox for you But you don't call my phone Anyway Think I burned out a while ago Maybe I'll relight one day
5.
Mitosis 03:41
The first time I came home from school I walked right through the door Wrapped my arms around my mother Dropped my bags on the floor That night I heard the train All the way in Richmond And God, just being home Felt like breathing again I'm splitting in half A mitosis of sorts Once I shed this skin I won't hurt anymore I never let myself in On the truth before There's two of me at last One to move on One to stay in the past Well, I moved back down to Boston And met the people that I love They taught me how to drop my guard down And showed me that I am enough I see them as the sisters That I never had It's the sweetest feeling ever Knowing someone has your back I'm splitting in half A mitosis of sorts Once I shed this skin I won't hurt anymore I never let myself in On the truth before There's two of me at last One to move on One to stay in the past Now I love brick and iron and copper These building speak to me my truth They tell me that I'm smart And there's a spot For me in every room And here I am still growing But like the person I can see And that's all I ever wanted For me I'm splitting in half A mitosis of sorts Once I shed this skin I won't hurt anymore I never let myself in On the truth before There's two of me at last One to move on One to stay in the past

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My debut EP :)

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released March 19, 2021

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Isabel Pless Burlington, Vermont

Former gifted kid, current broke college student.

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